Chapter 3: Zero Times A Month

“Nobody will recognise you.” Judith’s voice was sharp, but reassuring. “The cowl hides your hair and changes the shape of your face, and clad as you are in red and black nobody would think to associate you with the Azorius.” Her words were punctuated by the sound of her heels clacking on the paving slabs beneath their feet.

“If you’re certain.” Lavinia said, doubtfully.

“Say the word, My Pet,” Judith’s voice came again. “And we won’t go. It’s important to me that you’re comfortable with this, we talked at length about it. I know that it’s an absolute hard limit for you for people to know who you are. That’s a perfectly acceptable and sensible limit and I am absolutely taking it seriously, so I need your faith and trust that I have taken the utmost care to ensure that you are unrecognisable dressed like this. I will also not use your name in there, you will be completely anonymous. But if it’s still too much, we can turn around and go back to the ring and you can take it all off again and we’ll have a bit of a normal session.”

Lavinia’s heart was pounding. She’d never submitted to her diva this much; it was thrilling, but nevertheless she was frightened. Excited? Nervous? They all ran together really, into the knot in her stomach. The hood obscured her eyes; she was utterly dependent on Judith for direction, and she was wobbling in the shoes she’d been given. Underneath her cloak she was stark naked, save for a black leather harness from Judith’s closet and the crimson dog collar that was the lesser used of the two her mistress liked to strap around her neck. Judith had given her a pair of heels to wear as well- they were short, just an inch, but Lavinia’s career had ill-prepared her for walking elevated nonetheless and she would occasionally trip over her own feet, unable as she was to see the floor. Each time, she felt Judith’s firm hands on her back and abdomen, helping her straighten up again. Her diva had never failed to support her, she had earned her trust, surely.

“I trust you.” She said, simply. “And I wanted this. But I’m still a little anxious, I must admit.”

“Naturally.” Judith’s voice came again. “As always, we can stop any time. You know how.”

“I do.”

“Well now, we’re here, finally. Take my hand, there’s a step.” Lavinia fumbled about in the direction of Judith’s voice until she felt her mistress’ soft fingers around hers. With a little awkwardness navigating the step, the two women were able to step into the warm, bustling environs of what Lavinia had been told was a specialised dinner club.

“Dame Judith.” Lavinia heard an unfamiliar voice to her left as she felt Judith take the cloak off her shoulders. It was a simpering, haughty tone with an oddly familiar echo to it. “So nice to see you again. And who might your companion be?”

“Never you mind, Zavaris.” Judith replied. “She’s my pet, and my business. You shan’t address her, if you know what’s good for your tip.”

“Of course, Madam.” The other voice seemed alert at that last word. “Please, allow me to show you to your booth.”

Lavinia felt Judith’s hand in hers again, tugging her forward. Knowing she would be led somewhere she would have to sit down, she decided to allow her diva simply to ply her like clay, gently allowing herself to be pushed and prodded into the right shapes and motions. Soon enough, indeed, she was seated in a tall, plush bench chair with a tall back she could feel extend beyond her head. Feeling in front of her, she found a varnished wooden table, and Judith’s voice eminated from beside her ear.

“Just let me take your hands here, My Pet.” She whispered. “Can’t have you waving these about.” She guided Lavinia’s hands to a pair of cold metal rings on the underside of the table. With a heavy clunk, Lavinia felt these shackles tighten around her wrists, pinning her arms in place.

“You are anonymous here.” Judith’s voice emanated from space around a foot and a half in front of Lavinia’s face. “But the booth is open. Everybody here can see you. They do not know who you are, but they know what is happening to you.”

Lavinia shivered with pleasure. It was the perfect cocktail of danger and security. Since she had freaked and shouted the safeword during the dame’s surprise visit to her office, Judith had, true to her word, not mentioned the subject of exhibitionism again. But privately, Lavinia had found herself fascinated by the idea, and after she brought it up at the beginning of a session some two weeks later, the two of them had worked together to plot out exactly where Lavinia’s boundaries lay. It turned out Lavinia was very open to involving tacitly consenting observers in their acts on occasion, provided that aspects of her real life beyond her play with Judith were not risked. So the condition was anonymity- Lavinia loved the idea of people seeing the filthy things that happened to her happening to “some woman”- she even loved the idea of those people witnessing them while unaware that they were occurring to the deputy to the guildpact. What terrified her beyond belief- in a distinctly non-sexy way- was the idea of anybody ever finding out what Lavinia of the Tenth did in her spare time.

Such it was that the dame had formulated this idea, this… ornate outfit for Lavinia to wear, that obscured her upper facial features, changed her profile and avoided any scent of the colour schemes she wore in public outside Raksday nights. Of course, it was hardly fair (or legal, and Lavinia had stressed the point) to inflict the spectacle of their sessions together upon an unsuspecting public, so Judith had formulated a compromise; coming to this club.

“It’s an Orzhov-owned establishment on the books.” She had explained, to a trepidatious Lavinia. “But they just love the money a clientbase that concerned with discretion brings. The customers are ninety nine percent Rakdos or guildless.”

“You’re sure?” Lavinia had fretted.

“Well, ninety seven percent, perhaps. You can never really be sure who’s Dimir these days.” Judith had conceded. “Point is, there won’t be anybody there who’s so Azorius they’d recognise you, and if somehow there is- well, they won’t be saying anything, will they? They’ve the same secret to keep. Now, do you have any allergies?”

So it was that a week later, Lavinia found herself in the warm, plush club environs, waiting with bated breath for the next instruction from her mistress.

“I showed Zavaris a list of dishes I want brought here.” Judith purred. “When they arrive, we’re going to play a game. I’m going to put some things in your mouth, My Pet, and you shall have to figure out what they are, because I want you to do what’s appropriate with them. If you drop food before you like a child or spit out your drink, well…” Lavinia could hear the wide, toothy smile in the dame’s voice. “Then you would be embarrassing me in public, and I think I would have to punish you. Back home, perhaps, or maybe, if you’re especially bad, here in the club, in front of everybody. Do you understand?”

Lavinia bit her lip. As an arrester she had a deep well of composure she could tap into under pressure, it was how she stayed cool and collected on the streets when dealing with guildless criminals; but the notion of the people sitting around this room, the sources of the mumblings and clattering of cutlery she could hear all about her, witnessing her being taken over the diva’s knee and soundly spanked… it almost made her consider some light civil disobedience. For the moment, though, she decided she’d be most comfortable complying with Judith’s instructions. Old habits died hard, and there was very little in her career that had ever given her to contemplate deliberate rulebreaking. Well… not yet, anyway. She had strong doubts about her ability to stomach following any decrees that planeswalker snake Dovin Baan might make, should he eventually end up in Azorius authority.

“Yes, my diva.” She breathed.

“Excellent.” Judith said. “Now then, it will take a little while for the food to get here, so in the meantime I have something else to occupy you.” Her voice was closer and to Lavinia’s right; she must have stood up.

Lavinia felt hands on her face, and then something smooth and leathery drawing past her cheeks. She felt something hard and round clack against her front teeth, and slowly, nervously opened her mouth to accommodate it. As she did, the object forced itself inside her mouth, uncomfortably keeping it open as she felt the hands tightening a strap on the back of her head.

“There now, that should keep you occupied and quiet until the food gets here.” Judith said, in a satisfied tone. “Not too tight, I hope?”

Lavinia shook her head. The ballgag was uncomfortable, but somehow that discomfort- and the notion of being used as a thing that had to be silenced- excited her.

“Very good.” Judith’s voice was retreating back to its position across the table. “Now we shall wait.”

The room around Lavinia was loud and oppressive, and forced to wait she became keenly aware of every detail of her condition. The cowl was hot, and its interior was, by this time, coated in a thin film of sweat. Her jaw throbbed from the ballgag within it, and the shackles beneath the table pressed gently onto her wrists in a way that she was becoming super-sensitive to.

After what seemed an age, she finally heard the dame’s voice again.

“The food is here, My Pet.” She felt the hands at her cheeks again, and a moment later she was once again free of the gag.

“Get ready.” Judith was very close now. “Here comes the skyjek!”

Something hot and wet entered Lavinia’s mouth. She ran her tongue around it, tasting the sudden tang of a sweet and sour sauce. Satisfied that this was in fact food, she bit down on it gently, tasting some sort of salty poultry. It was delicious, and far outside the kind of sustenance she would usually have access to at work.

“Well done, My Pet.” Judith crooned as Lavinia swallowed. “Now, how about this?”

Once again Lavinia felt something at her lips. This time it was thin and hard and metallic. She frowned a moment, then slipped it into her mouth over her bottom teeth, leaving her tongue free.

The liquid that poured into her mouth was undoubtedly wine. How expensive, Lavinia didn’t know, she’d never had a nose for the stuff, but it wasn’t unpleasant. She tried to sip it reservedly, but drinking with any sort of dignity seemed out of the question. With only the feeling of the brim on her lips, visualising the orientation of the cup or goblet or whatever it was was almost impossible, and it was all she could do to make sure she at least didn’t choke or spill any.

“Oh excellent! You’re a natural!” Judith squealed happily from about a foot away. “Now, this is a hard one, so take your time.”

There was silence for a moment before Lavinia felt Judith’s hand on her arm, and then something soft touched her lips. She couldn’t place it. What was this? She made to open her mouth, but the thing stayed touching her lips, seemingly getting larger as she did, so she closed it again.

The thing changed orientation a little and Lavinia became vaguely aware that it was moist and warm as well as soft. She puckered her lips and felt pressure as the thing pressed against them. It was only when something else brushed against her cheek as she yielded to the pressure that she realised what this was, and what was happening.

She was being kissed.

Lavinia’s heart instantly began beating faster, and the hood became more drenched in sweat as her cheeks burned red. The lips on hers were soft, but not gentle. This was a passionate kiss, a warm, loving kiss quite unlike the quick affectionate pecks she had been shown by Judith before. It was also long- everything felt longer in her sensorially deprived state but this kiss must have already taken a good twenty seconds and showed no sign of slowing down.

But none of that was what frightened Lavinia about the kiss. What she couldn’t deal with was how real it felt.

She began rattling the shackles binding her wrists and wriggling in her chair. The other lips left hers, and Judith’s voice, inches from her face, confirmed her fear.

“Is everything all right, My Pet?”

“Niv-Mizzet” Lavinia managed to eke out the name, shaking all over with a mixture of terror and rage. “Niv-Mizzet Niv-Mizzet NIV-MIZZET!” She felt breathless and her heart was pounding. The night had taken a sudden very sour turn and she needed out.

“Ok.” Judith’s voice instantly lost its performative croon and became deathly serious. “It’s ok. I’m here. I’m unlocking you from the table. I can’t take the cowl off without us going outside, or people will recognise you. Do you need to go outside?”

Shaking, Lavinia could only nod her head. She felt her wrists being released from the shackles and instantly, clumsily stood up out of the booth.

“Cloak.” She said, simply. She wasn’t sure if she meant it as a request, a command or a demand at this point.

“Here.” She felt Judith put the warm thick cloak over her shoulders and grabbed its edges, pulling them across her exposed torso and legs.

“Out.” She barked again.

“If Madam wishes to leave prematurely without paying the bill up front, there will be an additional-” the simpering ghostly voice came from somewhere behind and to the right of her.

“Oh fuck off Zavaris, I’ll pay the surcharge tomorrow if we end up leaving. You know where I live.” Judith hissed in reply from Lavinia’s direct left. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Where’s the step?” She asked, in a thin voice.

“Straight in front of you darling, big step now will take you down it.” Judith replied.

“Good. Stop touching me.” Lavinia said, acidly, and stepped forward into space, praying she wouldn’t turn her ankle on these unfamiliar heels. She managed to catch herself with just a small stumble, and turned left and right, hand out to touch the wall. Behind her she could hear Judith making apologies- or perhaps threats- to the wait staff. She turned left and stumbled forward, feeling the wall beside her until it wasn’t there any more. She followed it around the corner, and kept walking, hand over hand on the brickwork beside her until it turned another corner again. She heard heels clacking on the cobbles behind her.

“There’s some privacy here.” Judith’s voice, solemn and soft, came from directly behind her. “Nobody can see us, so if you need to take the cowl off you can.”

Lavinia grabbed at the contraption on her head and pulled roughly, sliding her upper face out to freedom with a sharp tug. Finally she could see again. This was some sort of alleyway behind the club, though evidently it wasn’t where the bins were emptied. There was nothing here but a small door Lavinia presumed served as a performers’ entrance. She turned to look behind her.

Judith was standing before her, white with shock and concern. Lavinia had got dressed before Judith, so this was her first time seeing the dame’s outfit. Judith was clad head to toe in black leather; the only splash of colour came in her red earrings, each the shape of the insignia of the Rakdos cult, and the inlay of the intricate spiked pattern on her fashionable handbag’s flap. She wore nothing at all on her head; a rarity that exposed her neat black bob of hair.

All of this was lost on Lavinia as, free as she finally was, her fear and anger bubbled up to come to a head in her throat.

“What the FUCK was that, Judith?” She growled.

“I…” Judith took a step backwards. “I think I’ve crossed a boundary here, so let’s just calm down and talk about-”

“No, Judith.” Lavinia took a step forward. “What. In Azor’s name. Was that.”

Judith was struggling to meet her gaze. “I don’t… I’m not… you’re angry with me.”

Possessed with rage, Lavinia strode forward. In a flash, reflexively, her hands moved in the air, drawing the casting loops for an interrogator’s charm, before she grabbed roughly onto Judith’s wrist.

“WHAT. WAS. THAT.”

Judith didn’t speak, she just stared down at Lavinia’s clenched grip and at the cream and blue line of sigils slowly rotating around her wrist and Lavinia’s like a cartoonish suggestion of handcuffs, preventing her from lying. When she looked back up into Lavinia’s eyes her own had tears welling at their corners.

In that moment, the illusion of submission was broken. Lavinia looked at Judith and rather than seeing her mistress, or her good friend, or the powerful and glamorous Grand Dame, she saw her for what she was; a small, frightened circus clown, utterly powerless against the actual strength that surged through Lavinia’s being, invested in her by Azorius law, compelling poor frightened Judith to shut up or put up the truth.

Lavinia was instantly horrified. She released Judith’s hand and waved her own to dismiss the charm and free Judith’s mind. Haunted by the dame’s horrified, betrayed expression she took a couple of steps back, almost tripping over the cobbles in her heels.

“I’m sorry.” She breathed, her voice cracking. “I didn’t… I wouldn’t…”

Judith’s mouth wobbled and Lavinia could see her makeup running as tears trickled down her cheeks. She kept eye contact for a moment, and then opened her bag, scrabbled in it and threw something black and woollen into Lavinia’s pelvis.

Lavinia felt a tear roll down her own cheek as she bent down and picked up the object. Turning it over in her hands she recognised a simple black balaclava.

“To hide your face.” Judith said, almost imperceptibly. “In a way where you can see. On the way home.”

Lavinia looked up, her face in a haunted expression. “Thank you…” she breathed.

“I’ll have your clothes sent round tomorrow.” Judith said in a drained voice. “But I think perhaps we should put our sessions on hold for the moment.”

“Okay.” Lavinia felt very small. “I’ll… put this on and go then. I’ll send this stuff back with whoever you send with the clothes.” She gestured at herself.

“Sounds good.” Judith had turned away. Lavinia caught the slightest tilt of her head, and for a moment she thought she could see the dame’s eye, red and puffy. But then Judith was walking away, and she disappeared round the corner.

Lavinia looked down at her hands. The cowl in one, the balaclava in the other. Suddenly she became aware of how cold she felt, alone in an alley behind an Orzhov dinner club, wearing just a harness and collar beneath her cloak. Screwing up her eyes to suppress her tears, she pulled on the balaclava and pulled the cloak tight around her as she prepared to walk on home.

It was very late when Lavinia finally got home. As soon as the door was shut and locked she tore off the balaclava and collapsed into a sitting position against the wall. In the dark and the silence, she sat, trying to wipe away tears with the heel of her hand.

“Rough day, Lavinia?” A familiar voice beside her asked.

Lavinia jumped and snapped her head to the left. A familiar figure clad in trimmed blue robes sat with his back against the wall, looking at her kindly. Lavinia recoiled in confusion and horror.

“Guildpact!” She cried, scrabbling to cover her dignity with the cloak. “I…er…you…!” She stopped, took a moment to centre herself, and tried a different line. “What are you are doing in my home? You have your own, and I visit it for extended periods every day.”

“I’m not in your home, Lavinia.” said Jace Beleren. “Or rather, I suppose I am, but Jace Beleren the living Guildpact is not in your home. I’m a figment of your imagination, you see, rather than the real thing. I thought that was important to get out on the table ahead of time, make sure we’re both on the same page.”

Just like the real guildpact would. “Very well…” Lavinia replied, suspiciously. “And why exactly am I imagining you, apparently at least partially against my will, sitting against the wall of my apartment?”

“Well that is the question, isn’t it?” Beleren said thoughtfully. “Truthfully I’m not sure, which I suppose means you’re not sure, but since I do seem to be something on the level of a trauma-induced hallucination, or at least something approaching one, I suppose whatever the reason is is likely quite serious and worth figuring out.

“Speaking of my home, by the way.” He continued. “The real Jace is, as you know, just as capable of reading your mind as I am, and as such I’d be remiss if I didn’t remind you that if you don’t take steps to bury the memory the first thing he’s going to know when he sees you after he comes back is that you ate Judith out on your desk in there.”

“Ha!” Lavinia gave a hollow laugh. “That shouldn’t be difficult. I really don’t want to talk or think about Judith right now.”

“Yes you do.” Jace said, matter-of-factly. “Of that much I’m certain. You desperately want to talk about Judith to someone, at least subconsciously, and it’s important that you do because it has something to do with why I’m Jace Beleren.”

“Why you’re…?” Lavinia was confused.

Jace frowned. “Why I specifically, as a figment of your imagination, am Jace Beleren and not somebody else, that is. As to why the genuine article is Jace Beleren I feel that’s really a personal project for him to work on on his own time, and none of our concern.” He raised his eyebrows at Lavinia, who covered a small smile.

“So you want me to talk about Judith.” She said. “Surely the real Beleren would just know everything there is to tell, reading it out of my mind as easily as from a book.”

“He would.” Jace said simply. “As can I, being a part of the mind in question. But both of us would find it incredibly rude and a betrayal of trust to mention so, or use the knowledge in a strictly social context. Besides, the purpose of the exercise is to help you retread what you know, in the hope that new enlightenment can be achieved. I don’t have the benefit of being a fully realised person of my own, so I only know what you know. So I want to hear it from you, but also for you to hear it again, so you can figure things out.”

“Need I explain everything?” Lavinia asked. “Were you the real guildpact I likely would, but I feel like for introspective purposes that might result in a lot of wasted time.”

“Why don’t you assume that I know all about what you’ve been doing with Judith and why, up until you got upset in the dinner club.” Jace relented. “And, I might add, that until you see evidence to the contrary the real Jace does not. Start from there. What did she do that upset you?”

“She kissed me.” Lavinia hunched inwards, pulling the cloak around her legs like a child.

“She’s kissed you before. It made you blush a little but you didn’t have a problem with it. What’s changed?”

“She kissed me on the mouth.”

“She’s done that before as well.”

“Not like this. It’s always been part of the game, or if it was affectionate it was… familial. Like a kiss from an aunt.”

“And this wasn’t like that?” Jace extended a leg to more comfortably lean on the wall.

“No. This was…” Lavinia furrowed her brow. “Damn it. I can’t call it passionate, really, because we both put a lot of passion into the things we do in sessions. This wasn’t like that. She was kissing me like… like…”

Jace raised his eyebrows. “Like?”

“Like she meant it.” Lavinia said, sheepishly staring at her hands.

“I see.” Jace said thoughtfully. “And how did you feel about her meaning it?”

“This is silly.” Lavinia said, grumpily. “You aren’t even real, and you’ve taken the form of somebody I’d never tell any of this.”

“Lavinia.” Jace’s voice was stern. “How did that make you feel?”

Lavinia was quiet for a moment. She swallowed, and took a moment to choose her words.

“It made me afraid, and angry.”

“Why did it make you feel that way?”

Lavinia didn’t say anything.

“What were you afraid of, Lavinia?” Jace pressed.

Lavinia fidgeted and looked away.

“Lavinia.” Jace appeared out of the air in front of her, still sitting down but now with a hand on her shoulder. “Were you afraid of liking it?”

Lavinia screwed up her face and nodded.

Jace sighed. “All right. So Judith did something romantic with you and that made you upset and angry because you feared having reciprocal feelings for her. And this is separate from the arrangement that you already have where you frequently have sex with her and engage in nothing but adoring her for two hours every week.”

“You make it sound foolish.” Lavinia grumbled.

“I make it sound that way because you think it is foolish.” Jace said. “But you assaulted her over it so it can’t have really been like that.”

“I didn’t assault her.” Lavinia wailed. “She wasn’t hurt and it was perfectly legal for me to do that as an arrester!”

“That may be true.” Jace was angrily raising his voice. “But as I have to keep reminding you, I exist only in your mind! If I called it assault when it wasn’t it’s because it was an abuse of your power that you are experiencing guilt over!”

Lavinia seethed quietly, glaring at the phantasm. “All right, yes! I regret it terribly! I bound her with an interrogation charm while off-duty because I was angry enough that I wanted a different answer to the one I knew I would get to my question, the one giving which was her only option other than keeping quiet while I had her wrist in my hand! I compelled a truthful answer to a question I didn’t want to hear one to, and perhaps that is legal for me to do as an arrester but in practice it’s a vile, petty, brutish and fundamentally childish abuse of my authority that served no good end!”

“So you’re upset that you needlessly hurt Judith?” Jace asked, bemused. “And why would that be exactly, if you were so enraged by her behaviour and hated her so much at this point?”

“Stop it!” Lavinia yelled. “I know what you’re doing and I want you to stop! I can’t feel that way about her! What we had was a business arrangement! It involved intimacy as a matter of course but ultimately it was a contractual relationship where we exchanged services! It’s not wrong or strange for two people who work together to be good friends, but that’s all we were… all we could ever be!”

“Why not?!” Jace yelled back into her face. “What’s stopping you from pursuing those feelings? Why can’t you let yourself feel that way about her?”

“BECAUSE SHE’S RAKDOS AND THE RAKDOS KILLED MY BROTHER!” Lavinia yelled back, tears misting her eyes.

Jace blinked, and slumped back down against the wall.

“There we go.” He sighed. “I think we made some progress.”

“You do?” Lavinia murmured.

“I think so. I mean, I think I have a better idea why I’m Beleren, at least.”

“Want to share?” Lavinia asked, sardonically.

“Quite simple really.” He smiled at her. “He’s the guildpact.”

“…I’m not following you.”

“Yes you are.” He waggled a finger at her. “You just don’t want to admit it because you feel guilty.”

“Oh? Then tell me, oh almighty brain of mine made infuriating robed flesh, what don’t I want to admit? I’ve done one, now it’s your turn.”

“Subconsciously-” Jace stood up and make a token gesture of extending his hand to help Lavinia up while staring a little apologetically at her. She stood up under her own power, no longer bothering to keep the cloak covering herself completely. “Subconsciously you want to speak to the real guildpact. He’s the embodiment of inter-guild unity. If you could bear to tell him all this- which you wouldn’t, but perhaps you could approach the problem some other way- well, he has all the powers of the guildpact, doesn’t he? If anybody can say it’s all right for you to have a snog with the Scourge Diva, it’s him.”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing at all.” Lavinia chided.

“If I’m honest I think I might be more of an instinctive impulse than a fully formed plan of action.” Jace retorted. “You like Judith. You like what you do with her, and you want to be able to reciprocate her feelings for you in a way she can understand, but you’re wracked with guilt when you think about it because you feel guilty cosying up to members of the Rakdos cult. Or, I presume, House Dimir, but I don’t know if they necessary enter the picture at this point. You’ve imagined me because you want Jace Beleren, the living guildpact, to… wave his magic wand of guild cooperation? Or something? Sign a law that makes it ok for you to go out with Judith without sullying your brother’s memory? I don’t know that you’ve really thought me through, to be honest.”

“It doesn’t seem so.” Lavinia muttered. “But then what should I do?”

“Honestly, Lavinia, I’m a facet of your own brain, projected into the form of a man with such little sense of sensible relationship policy he once willingly pursued a dalliance with Countess Liliana Vess.” Jace said, thinly. “I don’t know that you could have chosen a worse person to ask. But if you want what little advice I can give you; regardless of how you push forward from here, Judith deserves a proper apology for what you did to her tonight. If not for her benefit, then for yours. I suggest you write it down and send it back with whoever comes with your clothes in the morning.

“Second of all, I think this is honestly something you have to solve for yourself, without help, because even if he does come back soon, you can’t get the real Jace to assist you without revealing entirely too much about your Raksday night activities. Either you can move past your reservations, in which case I think you should; Judith’s attractive, accomplished, and you already have an existing relationship which could be built on. Or you can’t, in which case it’s probably best to leave her alone and pursue a different outlet for your problems with me. Er, the real me, that is.”

“But how do I know how I feel?” Lavinia wailed.

“That I can’t tell you.” Jace replied sympathetically. “Your brother’s killers were individuals, acting of their own volition and spread across two guilds. You could argue that since Judith wasn’t one of them her hands are clean of the matter, especially now that new guild cooperation is embodied in Jace Beleren the living guildpact. One the other hand… well, there was a guildpact back then, too, and the behaviours of those Rakdos could hardly be said to be uncharacteristic of the guild. Maybe Judith really is just more of the same. It’s up to you, really, Lavinia. I can help you no more. Goodbye.” He smiled, apologetically, and then as quickly as he had come, he was gone.

Lavinia steadied herself on her kitchen unit, her head reeling, and stayed there for about two minutes, not saying a word. Then, she purposefully picked herself up, walked into her study to her writing desk to retrieve paper and ink (there to be left upon the desk itself so as not to be forgotten) and retreated to her bedroom to relieve herself of the uncomfortable chafing harness.

An hour or so later, the letter written and placed neatly on top of the folded pile that included the cloak, harness and both pieces of headwear the dame had lent her, Lavinia knew what she was going to do. What she had to do, to heal the wounds in her heart and try to make things right.

What she had to do to have a hope of seeing Judith again.