Part 1: Have Your Jake And Eat Him

“Now then.” Doctor Boothroyd looked over her sharp rectangular glasses sternly, her short spiky hair almost invoking to Cassidy the notion of the forbidding black spikes once proposed for marking the site of nuclear waste disposal vaults. “Master— or if you prefer we apply the benefit of the doubt, Ms Meadows. Please confirm to me that you understand that a knowingly misrepresentative claim of gender dysphoria or other transgender-pertinent symptom is a capital offence, carrying a maximum fine of fourteen thousand venusmarks, as well as immediate appendment to the body of a deputised officer of the court, and that this is your last opportunity to withdraw your declaration without incurring such consequences.”

Cassidy gulped. She wondered for a moment if she was being tested – if Doctor Boothroyd knew, better than she herself knew, or had simply decided, that this was all in Cassidy’s head, that Dane Meadows was the real person and Cassidy merely a childish fantasy he had imagined as a way out of the constant daily nightmare of being wild game for every slavering huntress he encountered on the street.

She breathed in for a moment and redoubled her resolve. No. It couldn’t be. She’d never felt anything close to as much like a real person as Dane as she had in the tiny snatches of life as Cassidy that she’d managed to weave out of testing the name with her friends. And besides, the government could frighten her with words like appendment (which was, she knew, a euphemism for digestion: your body’s mass was “appended” to the existing – usually substantial – curves of the court executioner) but it lost something as a threat given that it was not illegal, and in fact explicitly encouraged in most cases, for women to eat men at any time and for any reason anyway. In court or in the street, Dane would have ended up padding some part of a girl’s body. In the long run, she had nothing to lose by saying yes.

“Yes.” She said. “I do understand, Doctor, and I would like to continue my claim.”

“Very well.” Doctor Boothroyd gave a slight smile that Cassidy hadn’t seen before. “You’re more or less a textbook case, honestly, but legally I do have to say that. I hope you weren’t too discouraged. Now what should I call you, Ms Meadows? Or have you not decided yet?”

“Cassidy.” Cassidy had told people her name before, but this felt different, felt right.

“Cassidy. C-A-S-S-I-D-Y, is that? Right, there we go, Cassidy Meadows. Oh, how lovely. Now then Cassidy, with those formalities out of the way I don’t see any further reason to deprive you. I’m writing you a prescription now. We’ll start you with two milligrams of estradiol and triptorelin for a blocker, to begin with. I’ll print the script for you now— oh, and you’ll need a deterrent bracelet. Let me see if I have one here…” The doctor trailed off as she rummaged in a drawer under her desk. “Ah yes, here we are.” She removed a chunky, blocky metal wristband painted in garish black and yellow hazard stripes from the drawer.

“Not dreadfully fashionable, I’m afraid.” She mused, gesturing for Cassidy to present her wrist. “But that’s rather the point. An unavoidable legal threat. Starting out, other women aren’t necessarily going to know what you are, but what they ARE going to know is that eating you carries a potential twenty thousand venusmark fine, and maybe even a jaw wiring if the judge is having a bad day. You should be safe as long as you wear it everywhere, that is until you can prove yourself in other ways.”

“Thanks.” Cassidy mumbled uncomfortably.

Doctor Boothroyd stood up and handed Cassidy a prescription slip. “Take this downstairs to the pharmacy on the ground floor and get your first prescription before you leave. I think other than that, we’re done here. I’ll see you in three months for a checkup, and to arrange your blood tests. Don’t hesitate to make another appointment if there’s any other problem.”

Cassidy thanked the doctor again and strode with a little spring in her step out of her office,

---

The clinic was a tall building, almost in skyscraper territory, having been converted from an old medical administration office block. Doctor Boothroyd’s office was on the second-to-top floor, so Cassidy elected to take the lift down rather than contend with countless flights of stairs.

When she stepped into the lift, it had only one other occupant— a stocky, short-haired girl in a hoodie and jeans who shrank into the corner as Cassidy entered. Seeing that the ground floor button was already pressed, Cassidy took up residence in the opposite corner. She reflexively put her hands in her pockets but forced herself to pull them out again and clasp them in front of her to subtly show off the deterrent bracelet. It would probably be quite a while before she was comfortable being shut in an enclosed space like this with a woman without brandishing the bracelet like a talisman or crucifix, she reasoned.

The girl looked down shyly at the movement from Cassidy’s hands, at the bracelet. Then she looked up again with an apologetic expression on her face.

“Oh!” She said, effecting a deeper voice than Cassidy had been expected. “Sorry, I… you thought… no it’s okay I, uh… I mean I’m not…” She collected herself and stuck a hand out. “Hi, I’m Jake.”

 Guilt flashed through Cassidy like she’d been struck by lightning. Of course, you fucking idiot. Here? In this building? Coming downstairs? Use your brain for once in your goddamn life. She tried to shake off the voice in her head and stuck out the hand with the bracelet on it.

“Cassidy.” She murmured back, trying to put a little effort into the crude falsetto that would have to suffice until she could get some real voice training done.

Jake nodded awkwardly, falling silent for a moment.

“S’nice name.” He offered.

“So’s yours.”

“You just startin’?”

“Yeah. First script today.”

“Me too.”

The lift reached the bottom floor, opening out onto the large empty corridor that led back to the more populated lobby. Cassidy yielded deferentially to Jake out of the reflex beaten into her from birth to respect and make way for one’s betters and consumers, and Jake made to step out of the lift before they both stopped and looked at one another.

“Sorry.” Cassidy said, cheeks flushed scarlet. “Force of habit.”

“Yeah.” Jake blushed too. “Not my place any more, is it?” He stepped backwards and made the same gesture Cassidy just had. “After you Ma’am.”

A little uncertainly, Cassidy straightened up and stepped out of the lift. Instantly she felt a wave of glee wash over her at this simple expression of power.

I could get used to this if I’m not careful. She thought, stepping aside so that Jake could follow her out of the lift. Best not to get too comfortable, Cass. You’re hardly a mean girl yet.

“So.” She mused, stepping back to keep pace with Jake. “Boy, huh?”

“Yeah.” Jake looked away, his affect as awkward as Cassidy’s question.

“How’s that working out for you?”

“Uh…” Jake flushed. “Bad I guess. I mean good, cause I got on T but like…” he squirmed uncomfortably as they stepped through a pair of double doors. “My friends aren’t talking to me anymore, and I think my mum might have disowned me?”

“Jesus.” Cassidy instantly felt guilty. “That bad?”

“Yeah I mean… my friends are kind of like, a bit cliquey. I guess I was too, before. So they think I’ve like, betrayed them. And my mum… I think she’d been riding all her hopes on me as like, the perfect firstborn daughter. Now she only has my sister who’s kind of a fuckup. At least, you can tell my mum thinks so. My sister’s been cool with the whole thing and that’s really helped me honestly.”

“Wow.” Cassidy said. “My mum was… better. I think she’s coming round on the idea of getting a free daughter out of the deal. She never really paid me much attention. I guess she thought I’d have a lunch made of me before I made something of myself.”

“Yeah.” Jake nodded. “I think that’s part of the problem for mine now. And to be honest, I dunno that she’s wrong. If it didn’t… if it didn’t feel so…”

“So right?”

“Yeah, exactly. I know there’s a lot I’m giving up. Hell, they don’t let you forget it in there.” He jerked his thumb back behind them. “The number of forms I had to sign and verbal agreements I had to make that yes, I know once I’m ‘tender enough’ I’ll be legally reclassified as food and I know T will make me lose my ability to vore.”

“That’s crazy.” Cassidy raised her eyebrows. “I just got a lecture about how if I’m lying I’ll be fined and then digested.”

Jake snickered. “Yeah that sounds about right. Anyway yeah, maybe it’s for the best all my friends ghosted me. I guess in a few months they might start being a bit dangerous to hang around anyway.”

“Hmm. That sucks though.” Cassidy furrowed her brow. “I mean, maybe my experience isn’t typical but it wasn’t like I never had any female friends before. Maybe a whole clique’s too dangerous but there should be like… I dunno ‘safe girls’, or something? There were always one or two girls growing up who weren’t interested in eating me. You shouldn’t have to swear off female friends forever.”

“Easier said than done. You’d be the expert right now I suppose, but it kind of seems like making friends like that would be… difficult and dangerous.” Jake said glumly.

“Well.” Cassidy replied as they reached the doors out of the clinic onto the concrete steps. “Look, gimme your phone and I’ll give you my number. You could do worse than to start with a girl who couldn’t eat you even if she wanted to, right?”

“Yeah, all right.” Jake fished into his pocket for his phone, then paused. “Wait really? You don’t get to pred? That’s bullshit!”

“Tell me about it.” Cassidy mused. “Or maybe don’t actually. I’ve been told about it more than enough. Basically by every cis girl I told, like I was an idiot who didn’t remember watching that puberty video in high school biology. Didn’t even bring it up with Boothroyd, I didn’t want another lecture that told me what I already know.”

“Well…” Jake handed her his phone. “If you ask me, you’re not missing much. I only ever ate one guy— my first boyfriend, he was an ass— and frankly, it’s overhyped as an experience. I had to take three days off school cause he gave me such terrible indigestion. I dunno, maybe guys just don’t vibe with it even if they don’t know that’s what they are yet, but I think it’s more likely it’s always a massive pain but girls get off on the power it gives them so they struggle through and pretend it feels good.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know and I never will.” Cassidy finished typing her number into Jake’s contacts list and handed his phone back. “So if you ever want to hang out with a girl without danger of death…”

Jake smiled. “I’ll give you a call.”

---

It was, however, another three months before Jake and Cassidy spoke again. The occasional text message between the two was as much as they managed, and it was only really by chance that an off-the-cuff inquiry from Jake brought them both to an understanding that their follow up appointments at the clinic were on the same day, only an hour and a half apart. Jake suggested, to Cassidy’s eager agreement, that they meet up in Queen’s Ward Park after he had finished with the doctor, and hence she found herself sitting on a bench by the fountain in the middle of the park, peoplewatching as she waited.

Cassidy felt nervous being out in public, though not so much as she had done before. She still wore her bracelet out, but she was more confident now that to look at her somebody who saw it would immediately understand why she had one. A few months back casual observers might have assumed that she was a witness in a court case, or carrying some kind of foodborne illness, or a reserved meal for a rich and influential woman. But now, whilst she certainly didn’t pass to most people, the effects of the oestrogen and her slightly more daring wardrobe made the implication pretty clear— this one’s not for eating, ladies, and soon she will join your ranks, so be nice. Whether those who got the message would regard it favourably was of course another matter, but Cassidy had long since concluded that worrying about that all the time would have kept her stuck at home, unable to have any life at all, and she didn’t think she could bear that. Besides, she had a vague idea that not making the most of one’s new life was cause for concern when the clinic came to review your case.

The bench squeaked as someone sat down beside her. Cassidy turned sharply, but her companion turned out only to be Jake, as promised. Jake himself was looking well, Cassidy thought. There was still a lot of the feminine about his appearance but it had a more masculine character to it, like the bony emo band boys who appeared in so much of the music her neighbour Maya had liked growing up and who she had been told in no uncertain terms had been so attractive to a certain kind of girl at that time that by 2008 they were essentially extinct, it being considered a major honour to be the one of the throngs of screaming fans who got to digest and shit out one’s emaciated idol. Jake was hardly made up like one of those boys, but his gaunt face, adorned with light bumfluff on the edges, certainly resembled one or two of the headshots Cassidy had seen in Maya’s bedroom the time the neighbour girl had attempted to trick her into being devoured before being caught by Maya’s furious parents.

“Hey.” She smiled.

“Hey.” Jake’s voice was different. Deeper, but inconsistent. It was evidently just breaking. Cassidy was surprised by a wave of sudden discomfort that washed over her. She reflexively chided herself for what she presumed was internalised transphobia unbecoming of somebody in no better a position than Jake, but… no. No that wasn’t it. It was something else, and she liked it even less.

She tried to dismiss it. “There’s a burger van up at the Cattle Lane end, do you wanna get something to eat? I’m starving for some reason. Guess I haven’t really had lunch what with my appointment.”

“Sure!” Jake hopped to his feet brightly. “I haven’t really either. Though I usually get way less hungry nowadays.”

“That so?” Cassidy was bemused. The little rocket of a man’s enthusiasm for burgers didn’t seem like his appetite had been curbed.

“Oh yeah, I mean before I was on T I just ate and ate and ate everything put in front of me.” Jake said. “My mum used to say I was always hungry because I didn’t eat enough boys, but…” He stuck his tongue out. “Ech. Anyway it seems like now I have more of a man’s appetite. Though it’s still arguably one for a man twice my size.”

The offhand comment sent a pang of dissatisfaction through Cassidy, as though she were troubled by the idea of Jake being any bigger. Certainly he had no business getting any smaller, she thought, but it was almost as if she already subconsciously considered him the perfect size for… something. What exactly she didn’t know, and these vague intrusive thoughts were beginning to trouble her.

The line at the burger van wasn’t that long and soon enough Cassidy and Jake were wandering through the park together, attempting to converse between greasy bites of slightly suspect beef.

“So…” Jake mused through a mouthful of burger. “How’ve you been?”

Cassidy chewed thoughtfully. “Uhh… I got a new job? I’m an ad photographer, at Maltingtons.”

“Maltingtons?” Jake looked surprised. “That’s fancy, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I was surprised too.” Cassidy nodded. “But apparently it’s much easier to get a gig hauling around expensive photography equipment when you’re wearing one of these.” She wiggled her wrist.

“I’ll bet!” said Jake. “Work’s been going less great for me though; they’ve kept me on but my boss moved me to the stock team. No more customer-facing stuff for me.”

“Ugh.” Cassidy grunted sympathetically. “I suppose it was ‘for your own safety’?”

“Something like that. Though I sometimes wonder if she’s just embarrassed to have a man on staff who’s been there too long for her to no-fault fire. Evidently however delicious I’m starting to look it’s not enough for her to want to fix the problem herself.”

Cassidy was a little taken aback. She’d met men before who told dark jokes about their own futures as meat, but it seemed a little odd to her that Jake would have taken to the practice so readily this early in his transition.

“Do you want her to?” She blurted out.

Jake looked confounded for a moment. “Oh! I mean, no, obviously, that’d be horrible…” he chewed thoughtfully for a second. “But like… I guess it’s exciting to think about?  Loads of guys get eaten by their bosses, you know. It’s like… third most common woman to die in after your wife or girlfriend and your mum. I don’t really want to die, obviously, but at the same time… There’s something really validating about a woman’s mouth watering when she looks at you.” He gestured towards a party-political billboard just visible over the park wall in the distance.

THE LABOUR, LIB DEM AND GREEN PARTIES WANT TO BAN YOU FROM EATING THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE. ONLY THE CONSERVATIVES WILL DEFEND YOUR TRADITIONAL RIGHT TO PUT A MAN IN HIS PLACE ON YOUR HIPS AND IN YOUR TOILET. VOTE CHRISTINE MAGELLAN FOR MAYOR.

“See?” He said.

“Yeah…” Cassidy winced. “What a load of shit. The greens’ reduction target is the strongest of any of those and it’s only two percent! And they’re not even committing to enforce it. It’s just an empty gesture to workforce agitators.”

“Not that!” Jake cried. “Look how they talk about men on party political billboards, of all things. It’s… I dunno, there’s probably a lot of discourse you could have about how much of gender dysphoria and whatever is socially constructed but ultimately there’s no getting away from the fact that being seen as a walking meal in public is a big part of what masculinity is in our society. So… you know, being literally treated like a piece of meat kind of makes me feel… valid, I guess?”

“If you say so.” Cassidy raised an eyebrow. “Guess I wouldn’t know; seems my heart wasn’t never really in the whole masculinity thing. Well, for what it’s worth-” She kissed his cheek, converting it into a little lick at the last second. “I think you look delicious.”

“Oh stop it!” Jake laughed, making a show of recoiling from her tongue. “You’re sweet, Cass, but sooner or later I’m going to be at risk of more than just your pity licks.”

The taste on Cassidy’s tongue made her wish very hard that her primary feeling at the present moment actually were pity. She knew it wasn’t.

“Hey.” Jake said with the abruptness of somebody attempting to begin a new conversation too soon after the end of the last one. “Not that it isn’t cool having these gaps between meetings where we get to do the ‘before and after’ thing, but I’d like it to be less than three months before I see you again. That is, uh, I mean… I probably should have led with ‘I’d like to see you again’ but…”

“I’d like that too.” Cassidy smiled. “Both of those things.”

“Ok!” Jake perked up at her reciprocation. “What about… the Pem, next month? I’d do earlier, but just because my boss is ashamed of me doesn’t mean… you know.”

Cassidy just nodded and pulled out her phone to get at her calendar.

---

The Pem was a pub. More accurately nowadays (despite the prominent featuring of the old PEMBERTON’S PUBLIC HOUSE legend in brand new lettering over the door) it was a Wetherspoons. Cassidy peered around expectantly as she strode in, camera bag over her shoulder, almost uncertain as to whether she was looking for a boy or a bulge in the gut of another patron. But she needn’t have worried. Her eyes landed upon Jake waving at her from a booth in the back of the pub and she happily pranced over to slide in opposite him.

“Hey.” She said, a little weakly.

“Hey.” Jake smiled. He looked at the camera bag. “Work going well, then?”

“Well enough.” Cassidy nodded. “There’s this— I dunno, crypto-gendercrit hardass? —above my boss who’s not that fond of me, but she likes money, and she knows what kind of photos make it. I’m bringing her around. Doesn’t hurt that the oestrogen’s kicking in more too. Sorry, we can talk more in a sec— I wanna hear how work’s treating you— but I’m starving all of a sudden. Can we order?”

“Yeah sure.” Jake whipped out his phone. “You got an idea of what you want?”

“Uhh…” Cassidy slid out from the booth and came round to crane her head next to Jake’s. “I hadn’t thought about it to be honest; I wasn’t that hungry on the walk up. Can I see?” Peering to see the menu on his phone forced her face up by Jake’s.

“Umm… can I have the tuna mayo potato?” She mused, before wrinkling her nose. What was that delicious smell?

“Sure.” Jake punched in the order along with his own before Cassidy’s hand gripped his arm.

“And a full-size steak and mash.” She growled, the sudden void that had appeared in her stomach almost making the demand for her.

Cassidy felt Jake shiver a little under her touch and instantly recoiled, but the boy seemed not to notice. He dutifully noted down her additional order and added on a big plate of fish and chips for himself without saying anything further.

The two attempted to continue the conversation while they waited for the food to arrive, but Cassidy struggled to concentrate on talking while her stomach cried out in anguish for the commencement of eating. Eventually Jake noticed her distraction and elected to shelve the conversation in favour of less attention-strenuous activities, like shared people-watching. The pair examined the other mid-day inhabitants of the Pem with disaffected interest. Most were rather boring: a group of students laughing uproariously upstairs; an old man in a flat cap whose existence seemed like it must once have been interesting given his unlikely achievement of the age where one is rendered safe from the malevolent attentions of the fairer sex due to tasting like sour boot leather, but who now seemed to get up to nothing more exciting than reading the horse racing results page of the newspaper whilst eating mushy peas; and a couple in the window seat, consisting of a bored looking woman in a glittering red dress and her rather animated date, whom Cassidy considered probably was not paying enough attention to how annoyed the decision (presumably his) to meet up in a Spoons was making her.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, their food arrived. Cassidy continued to be unresponsive for several minutes as she shovelled potato into her mouth with the gastronomic enthusiasm of a starving dog, but soon enough she calmed down and looked up, gesturing with a full mouth and an articulated grunt for Jake to restart his previously aborted side of the conversation.

“Oh, yeah. Work.” Jake looked sullen. “I guess it’s hard to pin down for me. I feel like it’s not going super great, all told.”

Cassidy swallowed. “Oh no?”

“I just…” Jake squirmed uncomfortably. “I don’t even know, it’s stupid, but… I’ve only been on stock team a month and I’ve already made shift manager.”

“That’s great!” Cassidy lit up but faltered as she saw Jake squirm again. “…isn’t it?”

“Well… sort of.” Jake said. “But… look, it’s tradition that the stock team is like, vast majority men, right? Lots of dull manual labour and not a huge amount of upward mobility. It’s grunt work. And there’s a lot of recruitment churn— in more ways than one. Some of the new guys… I haven’t even bothered learning their names. They’re not staying, I’ve seen the looks on some of the sales girls when they pass by the door. Not worth it. So when I made shift manager it was hard to think that that was because I’m a good employee when it’s more likely that I’m… like…”

“…The sole survivor.” Cassidy finished grimly.

“Exactly. Which would be bad enough, but from there it’s just real hard not to get into this headspace that nobody around me takes all this-” he gestured at himself broadly “-seriously. Like, the lads I manage don’t see me as ‘one of the guys’ because I’m just not in the same kind of danger they are. It’s a different vibe. And meanwhile it’s pretty clear that management just see me as some sort of weak broken woman who’s useful to put in a lower management role over a bunch of male direct reports because she can’t and won’t snack on her team. So work just ends up as this constant barrage of reminders that I’m not like anyone else who works there, and none of them take my gender seriously.” He sat back in the seat. “Which is dumb because like, what the fuck even is the solution there? It’s not like I want to be eaten. And I don’t know if like, pity lip-licks from the sales girls would make me feel less like shit. I’m sorry, this must be so whiny to you.” He forked a mouthful of chips into his mouth.

“No I get it.” Cassidy said softly. “It’s like… well, it’s kind of like how I’m real grateful I get to do auction photography. Because… it means at work I’m the Camera Weirdo. And you’ve got to have the Camera Weirdo but you’ve got to have exactly one of them, and the subjects aren’t alive so you just let them get on with it and you don’t speak to them, you just get out of the way and let them do their job, right? And that’s been a real relief to me because it’s like, as long as I’m the Camera Weirdo on staff then that’s the thing that’s strange and unfitting and unique, there’s nobody else in the company with a job like mine or who does the same things as me. And as long as I’m weird for being the Camera Weirdo… that kind of overrides how otherwise I’d probably be weird for being this gangly man-freak nobody was allowed to eat.”

Cassidy’s eyes bulged as she reflected on her words. “Not that that’s the same as your situation, ‘course. Like I mean it’s similar, I guess, superficially, but I’m not like… in danger of being eaten. Or getting fucked up cause I’m not in danger of being eaten. Or whatever. Um…”

Jake laughed. “It’s fine. You were making sense, don’t worry. Unfortunately…” he sighed. “There are no Camera Weirdo positions at my job, and even if there were I don’t think my manager would be in a hurry to let me try out for them.”

“Strikes me.” Cassidy said through a mouthful of mashed potato. “That your manager is a prissy little coward. If she’s going to lengths like that to show you she doesn’t want you around, but she won’t even consider threatening you with eating you personally…” She swallowed. “Then she’s got only herself to blame, right?”

Jake smirked into his chips. “Heh. Yeah.”

“So…” Cassidy chewed. “Fuck her. I wouldn’t worry about it. If she won’t say what she wants, act like you’ve no idea. She’s gotta be a big girl, use her words.”

“You mean it?”

“I do yeah.”

“Well, that makes me feel a little better, for sure; but the problem is it’s not like I can just coast along at this job. My landlord’s constantly jonesing to put my rent up now: three times in as many months. And there’s no upward mobility above shift manager in stock, y’know? So where’s that cash coming from?”

“Fucking hell.” Cassidy’s eyes bulged. “Every month?”

“Yeah.”

“Did she do it, y’know…” Cassidy chewed alternately on her wording and her tuna potato. “…before? Before before I mean.”

“No.” Jake scowled. “And honestly it’s kind of like with my mum. My rent was super low before because I was ‘such a nice proper well-rounded young woman’ and now every month it gets juiced for some reason or other. There’s always an excuse. ‘Historically undervalued’, ‘You could be leaving at any time’, ‘Insurance against anything you lot might do.’” He growled. “Still don’t know exactly what that one was about but I don’t like it. I’m really worried I’ll get priced out and have to move back in with my mum.”

“Ah.” Cassidy said, with a grimace. “You mentioned her. That would be… bad, hm?”

“I’m pretty sure based on our last conversation she would forcibly detransition me.” Jake nodded. “I don’t think my sister’s shaping up to be the replacement golden child she needed, her texts have only got more horrible and transphobic. This is all a ‘silly fantasy’ that I’m to ‘stop right now’ so I can ‘take some responsibility’. I think it’s those facebook groups that have put the really nasty shit in her head, but between you and me I think that kind of general area is where she was always headed.”

“Well.” Cassidy mused. “If you did need a place to stay, you could come and live with me for a bit. In an emergency, you know? Just to keep you out of that hellhole.”

“That’s…” Jake sighed and permitted himself a slight smile. “That’s really sweet of you, thanks Cass.”

“No problem. My landlord’s got way more chill these past few months. I was late with the rent a couple of times. Just a few days, you know. She was always really mad about that before and would demand to see payslips and stuff, but now? ‘Ah, don’t worry about it, Cassidy.” She imitated a chesty Northern Irish accent. “You’ve always come through in the end before, and I don’t have to worry about you disappearing on me in arrears like some of these boys.’” She paused as Jake giggled. “I’m pretty sure a long-term guest, or even a sublet, would be something she’d take in stride at this point. It’s kind of weird— that sort of thing has happened with a few people I knew before; I sort of expected that even the ones who were accepting would need time to adjust to ‘Cassidy’ but instead it’s sort of like they’ve given themselves permission to care about how we’ve known each other for years?”

“Oof.” Jake’s eyebrows bounced. “That whole transience of men thing really getting drawn out like a diagram, huh?”

“Yeah, same with your lot, it sounds like.” Cassidy agreed.

Jake blushed and avoided her gaze. “Yeah. Maybe don’t wanna think about how that makes me feel now it’s been pointed out.”

“Hahaha.” Cassidy ribbed, a peculiar and largely unfamiliar feeling compelling her to seize the bait in front of her. “I was wrong about you, Jake, you’re a total gutslut, aren’t you? The ultimate validation for silly boys like you, being disposable. All that nonsense about mixed feelings— mixed feelings nothing! Snackhood being gender-affirming is ruining your life and you still can’t help feeling all squiggly about it.” She took another bite of her steak. “Well… if you did move in with me, there’d be fuck all I could do about that, I hope you know. You’d get tastier and tastier and I can’t imagine I’d be able to stop myself teasing you about it every day, but I don’t have the equipment to give you the gobbling up you deserve, so it’d just be like getting edged… forever! Could you bear it?”

Jake crossed his legs and flushed red, but Cassidy saw him tighten his grip on his cutlery. “You say that like it’s not the best of both worlds!” He smirked. “Getting affirmed every day as a tasty little snack boy, but never actually getting eaten? That sounds perfect. I could have my cake and eat it!”

The two friends stared at each other over the table for a second, each recognising in the other’s eyes the malformed gag that lay in the air between them, if it could only be twisted into some kind of—

“Whereas I’d be stuck with having my Jake and not eating him!” Cassidy blurted out, and the two of them laughed as the tension defused.

The conversation was interrupted at this point by the sound of glass thudding down on wood. Jake and Cassidy looked up to the source of the noise and saw the woman in the red dress had moved her drink over to the windowsill, clearing the table in front of her, and stood up to tower over the man she was now scowling at. Paying no attention to his sudden and belated recognition of her unpleasant mood and ill-intent, she reached bodily across the table, grabbed hold of his arms under his shoulders, and lifted him up out of his seat and headfirst into her waiting maw, which gaped cavernously, having been unhinged. Over the space of approximately twenty seconds, Cassidy and Jake (as well as a number of other patrons in adjoining seats) watched spellbound as the man’s impotently wriggling form disappeared at a steady pace past his date’s lips, until all that was left were his shoes, which she unlaced and removed with a wrinkle of her nose before pushing his feet into her mouth and swallowing forcefully.

The woman stood up and surveyed the light wreckage of coasters and condiment bottles that had slid onto the opposing bench as her rapidly expanding stomach had upset the table. She put up her hand and waved over the waitress.

“I’m terribly sorry to have wasted your time.” She said in a haughty, cut-glass accent. “But I’ve already eaten and I’m quite full, so I don’t think I’ll need the menu. Here’s something for the mess.” She reached into her handbag and pulled out a twenty venusmark note which she tucked into the waitress’ breast pocket before turning on her heel and striding toward the exit, balancing perfectly as if the massive roiling struggling belly pushing out the front of her dress simply didn’t exist.

Jake and Cassidy’s eyes followed her as she left, their mouths both slightly ajar.

“Hey, speaking of my place…” Cassidy said, her eyes still on the doors.

“Yeah?” Jake replied, not tearing his gaze away either.

“Do you wanna go back there and like… fuck?”

“Yes.” Jake nodded. “I do.”